"I like the way it makes me feel tall and upright...and I do like the confidence boost of losing 3in off my waist."John Waters The Sunday Times London
EQUMEN™ Helix-Mapping™ Technology seamlessly builds in physiotherapy insights to deliver ergonomic results. See more details
One of the weirder aspects of men's fashion is how closely it follows womenswear. Recently, we've had game attempts to get men to wear leggings, make-up and gladiator sandals. Now there's the male equivalent of Spanx, the control underwear apparently beloved of Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow, global retail sales of which last year reached a mind-boggling $350m. In fact, Equmen's Core Precision Undershirt (a name they presumably arrived at after realising that the more prosaic Really Tight Vest lacked a certain je ne sais quoi) is just the first men's control underwear item to launch in Britain. They've had them for years in the US, but male embarrassment means they have to market them as being good for posture and, bafflingly, "long car journeys".
The sheer tightness of the Core Precision Undershirt meant that getting it on required immense physical effort and assistance from several people. But it worked, in so far as it slimmed my paunch to almost nothing. My delight was curtailed when I felt my head going numb. Whether this was a result of its tightness or shock at what I saw when I shifted my gaze from my stomach area was debatable. An unfit man in his late 30s wearing an extremely tight vest is no feast for the eyes. It's not inconceivable that someone might be sufficiently impressed by your trim figure to take you to bed, but if your inamorata's eagerness isn't dented when the source of your svelteness is revealed, it will be when they realise you can remove it only by dialling 999 and getting the fire brigade to cut you out.